Humor
Pregnancy
A four-year-old boy accompanied his pregnant mother to the obstetrician’s office. When mother heaved a sigh and clutched her stomach, her son looked alarmed. “Mommy, what is it?” he asked. “The baby brother you’re going to have is kicking,” his mother explained. “He’s probably getting restless,” the youngster decided. “Why don’t you swallow a toy?”
Strange Turnpike Turnings
Modern-day miracles, it seems, do occur — and in the strangest places. A Christian evangelist driving down a Virginia turnpike is pulled over for speeding. The trooper smells alcohol in the vehicle and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor. The officer asks the cleric: “Have you been drinking, sir?” “Only water, officer,” the […]
Golf
A dignified English solicitor-widower with a considerable income had long dreamed of playing Sandringham, one of Great Britain’s most exclusive golf courses, and one day he made up his mind to chance it when he was traveling in the area. Entering the clubhouse, he asked at the desk if he might play the course. The […]
Be Not Too Helpful
Father Malloy had the best of intentions — but things happen! The good father was walking down the street one day when he noticed a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy was very small and the doorbell was too high for him to reach. […]
Things You Would Never Know Without The Movies
– It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. – A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. – If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. – Most laptop computers are powerful enough […]
A Million Dollars From God
A young man was talking to God. “How long is a million years to You?” he asked. “A million years to Me is like a single second to you,” God replied. “How much is a million dollars to You?” the young man asked. “A million dollars to Me is like a penny to you,” God […]
School Answerphone
“Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection: a.. To lie about why your child is absent, press 1 b.. To make excuses for why your child did not do his […]
Who Hears Your Prayers?
Visiting their grandmother’s house, two young boys were saying their prayers at bedtime. The younger boy started loudly shouting his prayers: “God, please send me a Nintendo … and a new bike … !” “Why are you shouting your prayers?” his older brother asked. “God isn’t deaf.” “No, but Grandma almost is!” the little brother […]
The Touring Politician
A politician running hard for office toured the country on a whirlwind campaign that took him from Portland, Maine, to Portland, Oregon, and from Anchorage to Miami as well as to every backwoods hamlet and village between the larger centres. And like other office-seekers, the campaigning politician always took his wife along, especially to the […]
The Pit
A man fell into a pit and couldn’t get himself out. A subjective person came along and said, “I feel for you down there.” An objective person walked by and said, “It’s logical that someone would fall down there.” A Pharisee said, “Only bad people fall into pits.” A mathematician calculated how he fell into […]
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