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Humor

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Disclaimer

‘Let no one who is not eager for truth and peace enter here’ (Plato)

Articles on this site express varying points of view, to encourage mature thinking on serious issues. The assumption is that you will want to study a controversial topic from various angles before you arrive at a conclusion, rather than simply believe what someone told you when you were impressionable! (So some stuff here is ‘hot’. Proceed at your own risk!). See the Statement of Faith for John Mark Ministries' theological stance.

Sounds Reasonable

A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church. The teacher was very impressed and asked if his dad […]

Hot And Cold

Paddy went to the Big city and was amazed at all he saw! He browsed the shops and was amazed at the things there. He saw something n top of the chelf – round, with a cap on it. Whats? he asked the salesman Thats a vacuum flask replied the salesman Whats it do? asked […]

One Sentence Sermons

ONE SENTENCE SERMONS Be Fishers of Men….You catch ’em, He’ll Clean ’em. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing. Don’t put a question mark where God put a period. Don’t wait for 6 strong men to take you to church. Exercise daily…Walk with the Lord! Forbidden fruits create many jams. Give God […]

Bumper-Sticker: Obviously Created By A Male!

‘Now that you’ve told me everything you want to tell me, won’t you please now shut up!!!???’

New Answering Machine

THE NEW ANSWERING MACHINE ON THE MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE !!! “Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline……. If you are obsessive/compulsive,press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent,please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 & 6. If you are paranoid,we know who you are & what you […]

Car Keys

A blonde driving down the road noticed that she was low on gas; so she stopped at the next gas station. As she was pumping the gas, she noticed that she locked her keys in the car. When she went inside to pay, she asked the attendant for a hanger so she could attempt to […]

Negotiations

The Prime Minister of Israel sits down with Chairman Arafat at the beginning of negotiations regarding the resolution of the conflict. The Prime Minister requests that he be allowed to begin with a story. Arafat replies, “Of course.” The Prime Minister begins his story: “Years before the Israelites came to the Promised Land and settled […]

The Last Day Of Your Life

The following quotes are reported to come from an actual newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey”: Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. –Age 13 It […]

More Blonde Wisdom

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde… She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. Under “education” on her job application she put “Hooked On Phonics.” […]

Christian Songs

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, “Today, in church, I’m going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out “Cross.” Immediately the congregation […]