Humor
Wisdom for seniors
Until you have done something for humanity, you should be ashamed to die (the great American educator, Horace Mann) Celebrated piece of doggerel by Kingsley Amis: Death has this much to be said for it: You don’t have to get out of bed for it. Wherever you happen to be They bring it to you […]
The Remember Song
Ahhh… getting older, one’s memories are treasured – the ones that can be remembered, that is 🙂 CLICK HERE to listen to the Remember Song by Chuck Pyle, sung here by Tom Rush
The Advantages of living after 50
Someone had to remind me, so I’m reminding you too. Don’t laugh…..it is all true…. Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70! In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. No one expects you to run–anywhere. People call at 9 pm and ask, “did I wake you?” […]
QUESTION FOR YOUNG THEOLOGIANS
Roger Williams was buried at (I think) Providence Rhode Island, and when his body had to be relocated it was found that an apple-tree’s roots were entwined in his bones. Many people ate those apples. Question: whose molecules will be whose at the resurrection :-)? Facebook responses: Well Jesus had a gaping hole in his […]
The Owl and the Grasshopper
This is an old parable about the grasshopper who decided to consult the hoary consultant of the animal kingdom, the owl, about a personal problem. The problem concerned the fact that the grasshopper suffered each winter from severe pains due to the savage temperature. After a number of these painful winters, in which all of […]
Blonde calls her mum :-)
“Hi Mum, How are you?” “Hi Julie, where are you? I thought you were with your father at Bunnings .” “Yeah we were, but I got arrested, and they’ve let me make one phone call.” “What happened?” “Oh, I punched this Aboriginal woman in the head.” “What on earth, why did you do that?????” “Well […]
20 Computer Viruses
1. PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack — once if by LAN, twice if by C:. 2. POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a “virus,” but instead refers to itself as an “electronic microorganism.” 3. OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly […]
Survey
Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. Â The task was given to a multi-lingual International Survey Company based in southern India. The only question asked was:- “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a huge failure because […]
And and and and and :-)
Can you come up with a grammatically correct sentence that includes the word “and” five times in a row? **** A signwriter had written a sign for a FishandChips shop. Â When the owner saw the sign, he said: “I want you to leave a bigger space between ‘Fish’ and ‘and’ and ‘and’ and ‘Chips’. ***** […]
Marriage Blues
A married man left work early one Friday, but instead of going home, he spent the weekend partying with the boys. When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife really got on his case and stayed on it. After 30 minutes of swearing and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and […]
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