Humor
Only In America !!!
This is a true story and was the first place winner in a recent Criminal Lawyers Award listing: ONLY IN AMERICA !!! Here is a heart-warming lawyer story. An American lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire […]
Hymns For The Over-50 Crowd
1 – Precious Lord, Take My Hand . . . And Help Me Up 2 – It Is Well with My Soul . . . But My Knees Hurt 3 – Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing 4 – Just a Slower Walk with Thee 5 – Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One […]
*Here, Kitty*
Once there was a man named Jim who let his dog out to do its business late one night. He watched some TV and then remembered to let the dog back in. When he opened the door, he was shocked at what he saw! In his dog’s mouth was his neighbor’s cat, dead! “Bad dog! […]
Severe Pun Ishment
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.” Two weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. […]
*No Wonder English Is So Hard To Learn.*
We polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. A farm can produce produce. The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse. The soldier decided to desert in the desert. The present is a good time to present the present. At the Army base, a bass was […]
Jewish Stories
A Jewish businessman had some very important meetings in Hong Kong and found to his dismay that they were to be extended into the next week. That Friday evening he managed to find a synagogue, just in time to catch the beginning of the service. Throughout the worship, he could not help noticing how the […]
Interesting Questions
1. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? 2. Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed? 3. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 4. Why don’t you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery? 5. Why is abbreviated such a long word? 6. Why […]
Psalm 23
“Timmy was a little five year old boy that his Mom loved very much and, being a worrier, she was concerned about him walking to school when he started Kindergarten. She walked him to school the couple of days but when he came home one day, he told his mother that he did not want […]
You Need Email!
An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning). After the test, the manager says, “You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I […]
Lumberjack
A man comes up to the owner of a lumberjack business and says, “I need a job and I think I’m pretty good.” The owner replied, “Okay, show me what you can do, chop down that redwood over there.” The man said okay and left. Five minutes later he came back and was done. The […]
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