Humor
(Fundamentalist) Bulletin Notes!
This Church is “Prayer Conditioned”! To be almost saved is to be totally lost. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning! Watch your step carefully! Everyone else does! We don’t change the message, the message changes us. We set the sail…God makes the wind. We’re too blessed to be depressed. Wisdom has two parts:1) […]
God’s Billboards
Let’s meet at my house Sunday before the game -God C’mon over and bring the kids. -God What part of “Thou Shalt Not…” didn’t you understand? -God We need to talk.. -God Keep using my name in vain, I’ll make rush hour longer. -God Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage. -God That “Love […]
Steak
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, “When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don’t love me any more…” “Nonsense, darling,” replied the husband, “you just cook better now.”
Warning : Satire
You need some speakers to appreciate this COMIC RELIEF warning: satire _____________________________________________________________ God Bless America After winning the election in 2000, George W. Bush appoints Jesus Christ Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. But, on the fateful morning of September 11, the President and Jesus begin to part ways… http://www.thequickie.com/pop_godbless.html Quickie Cartoons [requires Flash player]
Some Differences Between Men And Women
1. If Laura, Susanne, Debra and Rose go out to lunch they will call each other Laura, Susanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out to lunch they will call each other Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut Head and Scruffy. 2. When the bill arrives the four men will each throw in […]
Why Some Countries Can’t Go Metric!
If the metric system did ever take over, we’d have to change our thinking to the following: * A miss is as good as 1.1 kilometers. * Put your best 0.3 of a meter forward. * Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child. * Twenty-eight grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure. […]
Quickest Way
A traveller was making his way through Ireland when he stopped to ask directions. “What is the quickest way to get to Dublin?” he asked a native Irishman. “Are you going by car or by foot?” he was asked. “By car.” “Well, it’s quite obvious to everyone….that is by far the quickest.”
Golf
A wife asks her husband, “How come you’re not playing golf with Joe anymore?” “Would you play golf with a guy who moves his ball to a better position when you’re not watching? Would you play golf with a guy that “forgets” to count some of his strokes,” the husband exclaims! The wife replies, “No, […]
Tech Support
Tech Support for Husband 1.0 Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, […]
Fun Quotes!!
Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery. A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative. My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it’s just kiln time. Dijon vu – the same mustard as before. I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or […]
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