Humor
Little Girls
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her […]
A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son
Dear Son, I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won’t be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived […]
Perfect Pet
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, “Come on, a dog?” The owner says, “How about a cat?” The man replies, “No way! A cat certainly can’t do everything. I […]
The Perfect Church Design
A rich man went to his vicar and said, “I want you and your wife to take a three-month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I’ll have a surprise for you”. The vicar accepted the offer, and he and his wife went off to the Middle East. Three months […]
Spike Milligan – Genesis One
Spike Milligan’s version of the Old Testament He will be sadly missed. Good opportunity to say thanks God for our sense of humour. CHAPTER ONE THE CREATION ACCORDING TO THE TRADE UNIONS IN THE BEGINNING GOD CREATED THE HEAVEN AND THE EARTH. 2. And darkness was upon the face of the deep; this was due […]
Senior Citizen
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Highway 401. Please be careful!” I’ll try,” said Herman, “it’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of […]
True Blue Aussie
An Australian, an Irishman and an Englishman were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before, when suddenly the Irishman cried out, “My God, I […]
Little Tim’s Goldfish
Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What’cha doing, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. “I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole […]
Windows & PC Related Terms
WARNING: Sense of Humor Required Windows 95/98 – “A 32 bit extension and graphical shell, for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system, originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can’t stand 1 bit of competition.” Disk Crash – A typical computer response to any […]
Eggs And Dollar Bills
The elderly pastor was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents. Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the […]
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