Humor
Sleeping On The Job
The following excuses have been suggested if you get caught sleeping on the job: “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” “This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to.” “Whew! I must have left the top off the liquid paper.” “I […]
Bits Of Humour
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign: “DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!” on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor. “Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” he asked the owner. “Yep, that’s him,” he replied. He couldn’t help but be […]
Adam And Eve
* God made Adam & He rested. Then he made Eve. Since then — No one’s rested ! * Adam and Eve must have had a great marriage. Adam couldn’t talk about his Mother’s cooking, and Eve couldn’t mention all the men she could/should have married. * Guys, the next time your wife bests you […]
Laws Of Golf
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, you should have inner peace knowing that a worse one is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime. LAW 2: […]
Atheist In Woods
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the “accident of evolution” had created. “What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself. As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot […]
Bachelor’s Kitchen Guide
Food in the Freezer: If you can’t tell the difference between your ice cubes and your ice cream, it’s time to throw BOTH out. Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked) by the time you pry them out with a […]
Asleep In The Theater
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have […]
Sleeping On The Job
The following excuses have been suggested if you get caught sleeping on the job: “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” “This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to.” “Whew! I must have left the top off the liquid paper.” “I […]
Paisley In Heaven
Can you imagine a couple of thousand years happy conversational fellowship passing between Rev Ian Paisley and another redeemed soul inside the Pearly Gates, when Paisley asks: “And how did you serve the Lord on earth?” And the reply coming sweetly: “I was a nun!” It takes me back to the report of Rev Ian […]
Right And Wrong
A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error. “I’ll admit I’m wrong,” the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt, “if you’ll admit I’m right.” He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first. “I’m wrong,” she said. With a […]
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