Two church members were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, the door did not close. […]
No wonder the English language is so very difficult to learn: We polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. A farm can produce produce. The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse. The soldier decided to desert in the desert. The present is a good time […]
1. You! – Off my planet. 2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? 3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 5. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be…? 6. I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad […]
Far away in tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea – one called Justin and the other Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day during a tropical storm, Justin said to Christian, “I’m bored and frustrated at being […]
2 nuns walking down the street and a drunk walks towards them, staggering and swearing like a trooper. 1 nun says to the other, “When we get close, you go past him on one side and I’ll pass on the other. That way, he won’t know which of us to confront”. As the 3 meet, […]
Hi guys. We’ve all been putting in long hours but we’ve really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says “There is no I in team” as well as the one that says “Hang In There, Baby.” That cat is hilarious. However, while […]
1. Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor. 2.Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa’s lap. Refuse to get off. 3. Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you’re wearing […]
A British doctor says “Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks.” A German doctor says, “That’s nothing, we can take a lung out of one person put it in another and have […]
Twas a month before Christmas From my wife came the wail, “Take out the garbage And go get the mail.” So I trudged to my mailbox And what did I see? Why, a miniature disc And computer CD! ‘Twas a limited offer From America Online, I knew in a twinkling That this deal was fine! […]
The George Carlin Theory: “The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, […]