Humor
You Might Belong To A Country Church If:
The doors are never locked, the Call to Worship is ,”Y’all come on in,” folks mumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark, and the Preacher says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to take up the offering” and five guys stand up; The restroom is outside, opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as […]
Old People
———- At age ninety-two, Grandma Fritz still lived in her old two-story farmhouse, made homemade noodles, and did her laundry in her wringer-washer in the basement. She maintained her vegetable garden, big enough to feed all of Benton County, with just a hoe and spade. Her seventy-year-old children lovingly protested when she insisted on mowing […]
Housewife
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the […]
Coffin
A man is walking home alone late on Halloween night. It’s dark, and the streetlights are out. Suddenly, he hears BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! behind him. He walks faster, but the sound keeps coming. BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! Worried he is being followed, he glances behind him and through the darkness, he can just see an upright […]
23rd Psalm
A Sunday school teacher asked her class if anyone could quote the 23rd Psalm. A golden-haired, four-and-a-half-year-old girl raised her hand. A bit skeptical, the teacher asked if she could really quote the entire Psalm. The little girl went to the front of the room, faced the class, made a perky little bow, and said, […]
Graveyard
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away […]
Have You Cleaned Your House Today?
From a friend in Queensland, Jan Groenveld: ~~~ http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/WW1.jpg http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/WW2.jpg http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/WW3.jpg http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/WW4.jpg This is not a joke. I scanned these from a insert in the Womens weekly dated October 14, 1964. My how the world has changed. P.S. Ladies, Have you cleaned your house today?
Some Really Great Illusions
http://wsphotofews.excite.com/017/8p/qr/xI/mB99679.jpg http://wsphotofews.excite.com/019/3E/rf/q6/mu16387.jpg http://wsphotofews.excite.com/017/1o/Dx/7e/mw41193.jpg http://wsphotofews.excite.com/019/Vz/wW/4V/mH75333.jpg http://wsphotofews.excite.com/006/DQ/I9/we/mu17199.jpg http://wsphotofews.excite.com/007/x3/HT/wd/mG86428.jpg http://wsphotofews.excite.com/019/Vz/wW/4V/mD58316.jpg
A A A D D
Attention Deficit Disorder This is how it goes… I decide to wash the car and start toward the garage when I notice the mail on the table. I figure I might as well go through the mail before washing the car. I lay my keys down on the desk, sort the mail and discard the […]
Light Bulbs And Denominations
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air. Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times. Roman Catholic and Orthodox: None. Candles only. Baptists: At […]
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