Humor
Lawyers’ Seasonal Greetings
From me (“the wishor”) to you (“hereinafter called the wishee”) Please accept without obligation,implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral, celebration of summer solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of […]
Cornflakes
G’day all. Nick Ashton writes: >People thinking that the bible supports the moderate use of alcohol >by Christians may find the following article informative. >http://www.sdarm.net/books/wine.html As a matter of interest, do you know anything about J.H. Kellogg, who wrote that article? An extremely odd character. With his brother, he invented corn flakes (yes, it’s the […]
Computer Gender
A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. “House,” in French, is feminine – “la maison.” “Pencil,” in French, is masculine “le crayon.” One puzled student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’?” The teacher didn’t know, and the word wasn’t in […]
Under 5
A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear him say, “Don’t pay for me Daddy, I’m under five.”
Kiwi-Speak
Note: For bist efict, rid these out loud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Milbun – Capital of Victoria Peck – To fill a suitcase Pissed aside – Chemical which kills insects Pigs – For hanging out washing Pug – Large animal with curly tail Nin tin dough – Computer game Munner stroney – Soup Min – Male of the species […]
Prayer For Christmas
Christmas eve was a hectic day. The little girl was so excited she could hardly contain herself. Her father was worried with bundles and burdens. Mom’s nerves reached the breaking point more than once as she tried to make sure everything was cooked, wrapped, cleaned and set. The little girl seemed to be in the […]
Consultants
One day while walking down the street a “consultant” was tragically hit by a bus and he died. His soul arrived up in heaven where he was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though it seems we have a problem. You […]
Dentist
Folks, [22/12/01] IBM has built a quantum computer to solve Shor’s algorithm. If you’re completely in the dark about such things (and golly gosh, there’s really no reason you shouldn’t be), you need only imagine a small computer built out of lots and lots of little blocks, where each block acts as part of both […]
Christmas Party
December 1 ALL EMPLOYEES I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa […]
Cashing A Check/Cheque
Ole went to a bank to cash a check. The Norwegian teller there said, “Yes, of course we will cash your check. All you have to do is sign your name on the back of the check.” Ole replied, “I will not sign for you or anyone. Just give me my money.” The teller replied, […]
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