Humor
Regretfully…
Regretfully, we are returning your manuscript Memos from a publications editor Regretfully, we are returning your manuscript: Anonymous, The Bible ————————————————————————– —— I must say that the first few hundred pages of this manuscript really hooked me. Action-packed, they have everything today’s reader wants in a good story. Sex (lots of it, including adultery, sodomy, […]
Don’t Take Life Too Seriously
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 2. A day without sunshine is like, night. 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 6. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in […]
Wife And Secretary
One night a fellow drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily. The next night the man and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly […]
Overworked
But….I’m tired because I’m overworked. The population of this country is 18 million. 8 million are retired. That leaves 10 million to do the work. There are 6 million in school, which leaves 4 million to do the work. Of this there are 1.5 million unemployed, leaving 2.5 million to do the work. Take from […]
On The Lighter Side
A 4-year-old boy was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to […]
Crossing The River
Crossing the river One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so. The first man prayed to God, saying, “Please God, give me the strength to cross this river.” Poof! God gave […]
Church Security — Special Bulletin…..
Notice: Intelligence has uncovered a new wave of church terrorists sent out to replace those captured yesterday. These new terrorists are believed to be brothers of those taken on Monday, October 22, 2001. Intelligence believes the brothers names are; Bin Gossip, Bin Critical, Bin Absent and Bin Sour. The fear is, they are already in […]
Going To School
The mother was having a hard time getting her son to go to school in the morning. “Nobody in school likes me,” he complained. “The teachers don’t like me, the kids don’t like me, the superintendent wants to transfer me, the bus drivers hate me, the school board wants me to drop out, and the […]
Monsters
What game do little monsters like to play at parties? Swallow the leader. What do you call a monster with no neck? The Lost Neck Monster. Why did the monster rush over to the cafeteria? He heard children were half price. What happened to the monster that took the five o’clock train home? He had […]
Cinderella
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair,watching the World go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing […]
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