Humor
Parking Fine
Joe was charged in court for parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. “They should not put up such misleading notices”, said Joe. “It said, “FINE FOR PARKING HERE”.
Successful Lawyer
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver’s side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled […]
Who Was Peter?
Sunday school teacher Ms. Brown had a class of five-year-olds. She began the lesson by saying, “Today we are going to study about Peter. Can anybody tell me who Peter was?” A little lad in the back of the group raised his hand. “Oh, how nice,” Ms. Brown said. “Billy knows. Billy, please come up […]
Kid-Sitting
A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along. “I’ll never do that again!” he told his mother that evening. “I didn’t catch a thing!” “Oh, next time I’m sure she’ll be quiet and not scare […]
Light Bulbs
Q. How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Four hundred and seventy two. One to write WinGetLightBulb, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle….. Q. How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Bill Gates will just define Darkness(TM) as the new […]
Clergy Luncheon
Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant’s owner waited nervously for the clerics’ reaction. “Quick,” he whispered to the waiter, “what did they say?” “Nothing,” replied the waiter. “They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets.”
The Theological Necessity For Humor
—————————————————————————- —- from In Communion 17 / Fall 1999 by David Athey In a collection of essays called Holy Laughter, Conrad Hyers says, “A common trait of dictators, revolutionaries, and ecclesiastical authoritarians alike is the refusal to laugh at themselves or permit others to laugh at them.” Of course, “them” can easily mean “us.” At […]
Random Bits Of Wisdom
1. I STARTED out with nothing….I still have most of it. 2. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran? 3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded. 5. All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair. 6. […]
New Car
Fred was telling his friend how his uncle tried to make a new car for himself…”so he took wheels from a Cadillac, a radiator from a Ford, some tires and fenders from a Plymouth…” “Wow,” interrupted his friend, “What did he end up with?” And Fred replied, “Two years in prison for theft”
Wait Till The Baby Cries
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says “not yet.” A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again […]
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