After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later the rooster walked in saw all the colored eggs, then storms outside and beats the …. out of the […]
A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: “What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?” the minister asked. “Try to fix it if it’s big; ignore it if it’s insignificant,” replied the lawyer. “What do you do?” The minister replied “Oh, more or less the same. Let me give […]
A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary money. The booth operator at first refused to let him have a turn, considering that his inebriated state would endanger the public. But the drunk insisted and was given a gun. He aimed unsteadily […]
At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?” The little boy nodded in the affirmative. “Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?” The little boy nodded yes. “So,” the coach continued, […]
An onion can make people cry but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. — Will Rogers — By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over. “Why are you so late?” his friend asked. “I had to toss a coin to decide between going […]
A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, “We’ve got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning.” Her husband replied “Well, lots of dogs can do that.” The wife responded, ” But we’ve never subscribed to any papers!”
The devil visited a young lawyer’s office and made him an offer. “I can arrange some things for you,” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you’ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in […]
Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a […]
When some doctors were told to contribute to the construction of a new wing at a hospital, the allergists voted to scratch it; the dermatologists preferred no rash moves; the gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it; the microsurgeons were thinking along the same vein; the neurologists thought the administration “had a lot of nerve”; […]
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. 1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in N.Y. 3. I take […]