Humor
A Christmas Carol Quiz
Can you decipher the REAL titles of these exaggerated titles of very familiar Christmas tunes? Don’t peek now–but if you need help, find answers below. 1. From dark ’til dawn, soundless and sanctimonious 2. Celestial messengers from splendid empires 3. In a distant bovine diner 4. Universal elation 5. Ornament the enclosure with large sprigs […]
Five Cannibals
Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: “You’re all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don’t trouble the other employees”. The cannibals promise not to trouble the […]
‘Twas The Night Of Thanksgiving
A Thanksgiving Poem, by CJ Beaman OTwas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn’t sleep I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep. The leftovers beckoned– the dark meat and white, but I fought the temptation with all of my might. Tossing and turning with anticipation, the thought of a snack became infatuation. So, […]
Relationship Rules
1. The female makes the rules. 2. The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior notification. 3. No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules are not permitted. 4. If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules, […]
A Thanksgiving Forecast
Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190 F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder. During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through […]
Changing Tyres
The Ferrari F1 team recently fired the whole pit crew to employ some young guys from Bankstown, Sydney, NSW. This sudden move was taken after seeing a documentary about how young Bankstown men can take off a car’s tyres within 6 seconds without any proper equipment. However, Ferrari soon encountered a flaw. The young men […]
Things You Never Hear In Church
1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew. 2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes overtime. 3. Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf. 4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists. 5. I […]
Things You Never Hear In Church
1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew. 2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes overtime. 3. Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf. 4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists. 5. I […]
The Children Of Israel
At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day’s lesson. It was now time for the usual question period. “Mr. Goldblatt,” announced little Joey, “there’s somethin’ I can’t figger out.” “What’s that Joey?” asked Goldblatt. “Well accordin’ to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?” “Right.” “An’ […]
Things You Learn As You Age
“I’ve learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing ‘Silent Night.'” (Age 6) “I’ve learned that you can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.” (Age 7) “I’ve learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up.” (Age […]
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