Humor
Dogs And Cats
The Truth About Dogs and Cats Ginger says “Thanks” to Leigh Whitmer! The following addition of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light on the question, “Where did pets come from?” And Adam said, “Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me […]
Adam And Eve
A lawyer, a cartographer, and a doctor were having a theological debate. Each was arguing that God was a member of his profession. “Remember,” said the doctor, “that the first thing God did was to bring Adam and Eve into the world; He must be a doctor — indeed, an obstetrician.” “Nonsense,” said the cartographer. […]
The Price Of Eden
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely so God asked Adam, “What is wrong?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give Adam a companion and it would be a woman. He said this person would cook for you and wash your clothes. […]
Time For A Diet
You know it is time for a diet when: -You dive into a swimming pool so your friends can go surfing. -You have to apply your makeup with a paint roller. -Weight Watchers demands your resignation. -You step on a pennyweight scale that gives you your fortune and it says, “One at a time, please!” […]
Adam And Eve
———— Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands…. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. “You’re running around with other women,” she told her mate. “Eve, honey, you’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You know you’re the only woman on earth.” The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only […]
Flowers
“Take a bunch of flowers home for your wife, sir,” urged the street vendor. “I haven’t got a wife,” replied the young man. “Then buy a bunch for your sweetheart.” “I don’t have a sweetheart, either.” “Well then, buy a couple of bunches to celebrate your luck.”
Marrying Opposites
“You and your husband don’t seem to have an awful lot in common.” said the new tenant’s neighbour. “Why on earth did you get married?” “I suppose it was the old business of ‘opposites attract'” was the reply. “He wasn’t pregnant and I was.”
Prison Vs. Work
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8′ X 10′ cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6′ X 8′ cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it. In […]
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created
10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions. 9.God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote. 8.God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and […]
How To Handle A Speeding Ticket!
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver’s license? Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DD. Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle? Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it. Officer: […]
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