Humor
Engineering Conversions
HANDY ENGINEERING CONVERSIONS Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram Time it takes […]
By My Side…
Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When […]
The Children’s Bill Of Rights
My son came home from school one day, A smirk was on his face. He’d decided he was smart enough To put me in my place. HE SAID: “Guess what I learned in Civics Two, That’s taught by Mr. Wright? It’s all about the laws today: “THE CHILDREN’S BILL OF RIGHTS.” IT SAYS: “I don’t […]
Locked Out
Leo and Sam exited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove the key which was in the ignition. Realizing the mistake, Leo asked, “Why don’t we get a coat hanger to open it.” “No, that won’t work” answered Sam. “People will think we’re trying to break in.” Then Leo suggested, “What if […]
Jewish Humour
Jacob’s Coat. ————– As we were studying the parsha at our dinner table, I asked my daughter: “Yaakov gave his son Yoseph a coat, right.” “Right aba.” “Did Yaakov give a coat to Yoseph’s brothers, too” “No.” “So, Yoseph got a coat and his brother’s didn’t get a coat. How do you think the brother’s […]
Wisdom
Wisdom is knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech. Honesty pays, but not enough for some people. Experience teaches us that there is a small but important difference between keeping your chin up and sticking your neck out. Caution: Do not ask for advice, you might get it. A lot […]
Sick Daughter
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter. When returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys in the car. She was in […]
Famous People’s Mothers
PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!” MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY’S MOTHER: “I don’t mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?” MONA LISA’S MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent […]
God’s Voice
Our priest wanted to keep the church open all day Sunday, but was wary of theft and vandalism. His solution was to put an intercom between the church and rectory so he could monitor what went on inside the church from the rectory. One afternoon, he heard a metal-against-metal sound and figured someone was trying […]
Murphy’s Laws For Mothers
Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don’t. A mother’s love is a better cure than chicken soup, but chicken soup is cheaper. Your mother is the only person that knows more about you than you know about yourself. Any time you are unable to solve a problem, […]
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