Humor
Duel
A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he’d been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened. “Well, Dad,” said the boy, “I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, […]
The Things That Happen In Temple And Church!
Oy Gevalt! We sent out a call, asking: What is the funniest thing that has happened to you during a worship service? Here are some of the responses. Perhaps you have a few memories of your own? If so, please post them! OY GEVALT I was in temple a few years ago, and I brought […]
More Church Bulletin Bloopers
Women’s Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication. Karen’s beautiful solo: “It is Well With My Solo.” Congratulations to Tim and Ronda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17. If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly. Hymn: “I Love Thee My Ford.” […]
Getting Into Heaven
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, “How do you expect to get into Heaven?” The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Jimmy, come in or […]
Repartees
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it. Accept that some days you […]
God’s Voice Mail
GOD’S VOICE MAIL ================ Most of us have now learned to live with “voice mail” as a necessary as part of our daily lives. But have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following: Thank you for calling Heaven. For English, press […]
Irish Mothers
Two Irish mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, “My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn’t smoke, and he hasn’t so much as looked at a woman in over two years.” The other woman said, “Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn’t he not looked at a […]
Taxi Driver
A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamp post and came to a stop inches from a shop window. The startled […]
Wedding Dress
================================================================ Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?” “Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life,” her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment, then […]
Marriage
“Congratulations my boy!” said the groom’s uncle. “I’m sure you’ll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life.” “But I’m not getting married until tomorrow.” Protested his nephew. “I know,” replied the uncle. “That’s exactly what I mean.”
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