Humor
Bored
===== A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things – chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with. […]
Nervous In The Pulpit
===================== The new priest was so nervous at his first mass that he could hardly speak. Before his second appearance in the pulpit, he asked the Monsignor how he could relax. The Monsignor said, “Next Sunday, it may help if you put some vodka in the water pitcher. After a few sips everything should go […]
Because The Sign Says 35
======================== There was this group of old ladies riding in their car about 35 miles an hour when a cop stopped them and asked, “Do you know your only going 35?” “Yes” said the driver. “Why are you going only 35?” “Because the sign says 35.” she replies. “That’s the number of the road,” the […]
Burglar
A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying […]
Junk Stock
========== A stockbroker was cold calling about a junk stock and found a taker. “I think this one will really move,” said the broker, “it’s only $1 a share.” “Buy me 1000 shares.” said the client. The next day the stock was at $2. The client called the broker and said, “You were right, give […]
Writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl […]
Safe Bull
========= A young man was driving along a country road on the way to see his girl. As he passed a field the idea struck him to stop and pick a bouquet of flowers. He had barely begun romping through the field when he became aware or a rather mean looking bull not far away, […]
Teenagers
Teenager (noun) 1. A mammal found extensively throughout the planet, often clustered in groups in front of television sets (See SLOTHS.) Thought to be a member of Homo Sapiens due to physical similarities, though social and emotional behavior leads many researchers to consider Teenagers to be a completely different species altogether (See PARENTS.) Very territorial. […]
Impossible
========== The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the room. “A football player,” “A doctor,” “An astronaut,” “The president,” “A fireman,” “A teacher,” “A race car driver.” Everyone that is, except Tommy. The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet […]
Fire Drill
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. “Pull the pin like a hand grenade,” he explained, “then depress the trigger to release the foam.” Later a blonde employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking […]
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