Humor
Eating Missionaries
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, “You know, I just can’t seem to get a tender Missionary. I’ve baked them, I’ve roasted them, I’ve stewed them, I’ve barbecued them, I’ve tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender.” The second cannibal asks, “What kind of Missionary do […]
Sick In Church
Austin, a little boy was in church one Sunday with his mother Wendy, when he started feeling sick. “Mommy,” he said, “can we leave now?” “No” the mother replied. “Well, I think I have to throw up!” “Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind […]
Confession
The local parish had a fairly new priest. He had wonderful, innovative ideas that were, for the most part accepted by the congregation. His mentor – a “higher ranking” priest came for a visit – to see how he was doing. After looking the parish over, the senior priest said, “Father John, your idea of […]
Shoe Store
Two elderly women were trying on shoes in our store. When I slipped a shoe onto one woman’s foot, the end of my tie got caught beneath her heel. Unaware of my predicament, she stood up and started toward the mirror. For a few seconds, I found myself crawling along the floor beside her, trying […]
God’s Left Hand
Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. His grandmother remarked…”doesn’t it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this […]
Things That Only Women Understand
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like. You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. Perhaps you […]
Points To Get Into Heaven
A man dies and goes to Heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, “Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending […]
Two Robins
Two robins were sitting in a tree. “I’m really hungry,” said the first one. “Me too,” said the second. “Let’s fly down and find some lunch.” They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate ’til they could eat no more. “I’m […]
Strength Vs Age
=================================================== Strength Vs. Age A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, Morris had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” […]
The Ol’ Doc
Ol’ Doc Carver Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bedroom a minute after he’d gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, “Do you have a hammer?” A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went to the garage, […]
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