Humor
Worth Pondering
If a woman who flies a plane is an aviatrix, and a woman who dominates others is a dominatrix, then is a female boxer a boxatrix?
What Women Want
What Women Want in a Man, Original List (age 22) 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover What Women Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) […]
Video Store Trick
A video dealer in England advertised a large discount on his systems to anyone who was brave (or dumb) enough to snatch a coin from an aquarium filled with hungry piranha. The local animal welfare people got into the act and demanded the dealer be sure the customer’s hands were cleaned so as to prevent […]
You Might Be Stupid If…
…you can’t remember how to spell I.Q. …you can’t remember the number for 911 …you just discovered that your AM radio also works in the afternoon …you use correction fluid on your PC monitor …you fail Physical Education …you cannot spell “it” …you try to turn the light on to find a flashlight in a […]
Closing Time
I work in a department store where every night at closing time one of our customer-service representatives reminds shoppers over the public address system to finish their shopping. One evening, a woman who had recently worked at Kmart opened the announcement by saying, “Attention Kmart shoppers…” Quickly realising her mistake, she tap-danced her way out […]
Envelopes
The new manager walks into his office and, while settling into his new desk, finds 4 envelopes. On one he finds the words “open me first,” and the other three are numbered 1 to 3. He opens the first envelope and finds a letter from his predecessor saying: “These three envelopes will save you a […]
Guide To Politics
A guide to politics (‘Look, over there, there it is.’) Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. Pure socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you […]
Some Shorts
Brian: My wife helped intensify my religion.” Pete: Really? Brian: Yes. Until I married her I didn’t believe in hell. = = = = = = Love is grand; divorce is fifty grand. = = = = = = A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that,… is […]
Australian Thesaurus Of Computer Terms
THE RURAL AUSTRALIAN THESAURUS OF COMPUTER TERMS Log On – Make the barbie hotter Log Off – Don’t add any more wood Monitor – Keeping an eye on the barbie Download – Get the firewood off the ute Hard drive – trip back home without any cold tinnies Floppy Disc – What you get lifting […]
Right And Wrong
A Sunday School teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. “All right children, let’s take another example,” she said. “If I were to get into a man’s pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?” Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, […]
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