Humor
Pill And Whiskey
A doctor told Mrs. Stone to give her husband one pill a day and one drink of whiskey to improve his stamina. A month later, when Mrs. Stone came in for another visit, the doctor asked, “How are we doing with the pill and the whiskey?” Mrs. Stone answered, “Well, he’s a little behind with […]
Thunderstorm
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I […]
Kids And The Bible
This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following statements about the Bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.) Enjoy. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating […]
Head Hog
One day a man called the church office. He said, “Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?” The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said, “I’m sorry, who?” The caller repeated, “Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?” She said, “Well, if you mean the preacher, then […]
Board Meeting
After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board following the close of the service. However, the first man to arrive was a total stranger. “You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board,” said the minister. “I know,” said the man, “but if there […]
Odd Anagrams
AN anagram is a word or phrase made by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. Someone somewhere has way too much time to waste, – or is deadly at Scrabble. ———————————————– Word Rearrange the letters ———————————————- Dormitory Dirty Room Desperation A Rope Ends It The Morse Code Here come Dots Slot Machines Cash […]
Little Johnny
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face. “Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother. A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue. “What’s the matter?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?”
Senility Prayer
Senility Prayer God grant me the senility to forget the people that I never liked anyway and the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I am older (but refuse to grow up), here’s what I have discovered; 1) I started out with […]
The Genie
=-=-=-=-= Two men were fishing. They found a bottle floating on the water, retrieved it, rubbed it, and a genie popped out. “I’ll grant each of you one wish,” said the genie. The first man wished for a new fishing boat, all decked out, complete with Evinrude outboard, the whole nine yards. Poof! New boat! […]
Church Stories
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny standing in the foyer of the church, looking at a large plaque that hung there. After the young man of seven had stood there for some time, the pastor walked up beside him and said quietly, “Good morning, son.” “Good morning, Pastor,” replied the youngster, not taking […]
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