Humor
Acts 2:38
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, “Stop….Acts 2:38!” (turn from your sin). The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly […]
Getting Better
Hope may of you can”t relate personally My forgetter’s getting better But my rememberer is broke to you that may seem funny but, to me, that is no joke For when I’m “here” I’m wondering If I really should be “there” And, when I try to think it through, I haven’t got a prayer! Oft […]
Farmer’s Horse
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond. Once more the farmer […]
Dear God…
Letters to God A Nun asked her class to write a note to God……….. Dear GOD: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t you just keep the ones You have? Johnny Dear GOD: Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own […]
Beware Of The Dog
Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying “DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!” posted on the door glass. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor near the cash register. He asked the store’s owner, “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” “Yep,” the proprietor […]
Wisdom
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.”- Anonymous Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. Birthdays are good for you: the more you have the longer you live. How long a minute is depends on which side of […]
The Day After Christmas
‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk […]
The World According To Student Bloopers
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and […]
The Funeral
At The Funeral Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man named Steve. He would complain about everything. That day he went to their creek with his mule. He complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death. At the funeral, when all the men walked […]
Why God Never Received Tenure At Any University
He had only one major publication. It was in Hebrew. It had no references. It wasn’t published in a refereed journal. Some even doubt He wrote it Himself. It may be true that He created the world, but what has He done since then? His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. The scientific community has […]
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