Humor
Quotable Quotes?
On driving: Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. George Carlin I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. Rita Rudner I went into a McDonald’s yesterday and said, "I’d […]
Why English Teachers Are Important [2]
This reminds me of a trip I made to Aspen many years ago. There was a woman at work who told me before I left that she would like me to send her a postcard from there, because she collected postcards. This woman was in her forties at the time and was the original case […]
Butcher Dance
A guy has spent five years travelling all around the world making a documentary on Native dances. At the end of this time, he has every single native dance of every indigenous culture in the world on film. He winds up in Australia, in Alice Springs, so he pops into a pub for a well […]
Christian Bear
A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside. Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and […]
The Two Year Degree
A new two-year degree is being offered at the University of Michigan that many of you should be interested in: Becoming A Real Man. That’s right, in just six trimesters, you, too, can be a real man as well as earn an AA degree (AA Real Men). Please take a moment to look over the […]
The Young Preacher
A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a graveside committal service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns. He arrived a half-hour late, the hearse was no where in site, and the […]
Courage
A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he never had the courage to speak to her. In fact, he told his therapist that every time he got near her he felt like nothing more than a tiny pebble. "Well," his therapist responded, "If you want to get the girl […]
Murphy’s Law Etc
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition. Technology is dominated by those who manage […]
Golf
ANCIENT CUSTOMS In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression … In America we call it golf. Dana E. Wade <> Karen I. Hackman <> =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- LOOKING LIKE A GOLFER George looks like a […]
The Cats’ Bill Of Rights
1. Humans shall make no law respecting an establishment of boundaries or prohibiting the free exercise therein, or abridging the freedom of access, or the right to peaceful assembly. In other words: The cat is entitled to go outside anytime s/he wants. 2. A well-carried provisional chamber, being necessary to the fulfillment of a feline’s […]
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