Humor
Why English Teachers Are Important
The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes… Dear Thomas, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever […]
Where’s The Fire?
A Blonde came home and found her house on fire, she rushed to the house next door, and telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!" "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?" "Don’t you guys still have those big red trucks?"
Other Prints In The Sand
One night I had a wondrous dream, One set of footprints there was seen, The footprints of my precious Lord, But mine were not along the shore. But then some stranger prints appeared, And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?" Those prints are large and round and neat, "But Lord, they are too […]
The Real Murphy
Thought you might be interested … There was a real "Murphy." I met his sister a few weeks ago. He was a scientist working at Edwards A F B in the 60s – 80s. He’s dead now. His sister told me that his original expression, "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong" was created based […]
Buying Men Gifts
Ladies: Need help Gift Shopping for the man in your life? ———————————————————– Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems. Rule #1: When in doubt – buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. […]
Multiple Uses
A very proper man started going into the neighborhood drug store every week and buying 2 dozen boxes of condoms. Week after week, he would come in with the same order. One day, the druggist felt he had to say something to the man. “Wow! You must have the stamina of a bull. Talk about […]
An Engineer’s Christmas
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) […]
A Priest And A Bus Driver
A priest and a bus driver both died and went to heaven at the same time. They get to the pearly gates where St. Peter greets them. He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep and go out the back door. There are about 50 acres of rolling hills with a […]
My Dad Writes
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a […]
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Jerry Falwell: Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That’s what "they" call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay […]
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