Humor
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? [2]
The non-theistic perspectives: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. Darwin The chicken was merely a machine and was crossing due to the deterministic nature of the universe. Rene Descartes Out of custom and habit. David Hume The pure transcendental concept of the road, having been deduced a priori and […]
24 Things We Wouldn’t Know Without Movies
24. It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 23. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving. 22. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. 21. All beds have […]
Paddy And Murphy
Paddy and Murphy are flying the 10.30 Aer Lingus flight from Heathrow to Dublin. As they come in over the East Coast of Ireland … the following conversation ensues… "Sheeeezzz" said Paddy "Will ye look at how short dat runway is". "You’re not kiddin’, Paddy" replied Murphy. "Dis is gonna be one a’ de trickiest landings you’re […]
Light Bulbs (One More)
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two: One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
Shopping For Males
Christmas is just around the corner so here are some gift ideas for those special men in your life! Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems. Rule #1: When in doubt – buy him a cordless drill. It does […]
In The Elevator
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot […]
Light Bulb Jokes
Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. It is predestined when the lights will be on. Q: How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They always use candles instead. Q: How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb? A: […]
A Chorister’s Guide
1. Never be satisfied with the starting pitch. If the conductor uses a pitch-pipe, make known your preference for pitches from the piano, and vice-versa. 2. Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting, crowded space, or a draft. It is best to do this when the conductor is under pressure. 3. Bury […]
Church Football
(Especially for American lurkers…) Received from Smart Lady of the house Sherri of intellex.com: Church Football Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the invitation. Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during worship. Halftime – The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave Benchwarmer – Those […]
Laws Of Cat Physics
1 – Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. 2 – Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there’s a really good […]
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