Humor
Rules
At the 1997 World Women’s Conference the first speaker from England stood up: "At last years’ conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After […]
How To Shower
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN 1) Take off the 14 layers of clothing you slept in because there was a distinct chill in the air at bedtime due to the temperature having dropped below 70 degrees. 2) Walk to the bathroom wearing a long robe & a towel on your head. If you see […]
We’re Not What?
Steven Singer, 50, the supervising clerk for matrimonial cases in Manhattan, pleaded guilty Tuesday to accepting bribes from lawyers to speed up paperwork in uncontested divorces from 1992 to 1999. Manhattan District Attorney Robert Morgenthau said. "There may be as many as 20 other lawyers and court employees involved". He said an investigation was being […]
Lessons I’ve Learned…
* I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. * I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, Some people are just idiots. * I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, And it only takes suspicion, […]
Abnormal Psychology
In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression. She posed this question to her students: "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young […]
Feminist Humor
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell. […]
Lessons From The Ark
All I Really Need to Know I Learned From Noah’s Ark 1. Don’t miss the boat. 2. Don’t forget that we’re all in the same boat. 3. Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark. 4. Stay fit. When you’re 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big. 5. […]
Atheist Holiday
An atheist complained to a friend… "Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter; and Jews celebrate their national holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur, but we atheists," he said, "have no recognized national holidays. It’s unfair discrimination." His friend replied, "Why don’t you celebrate April first?"
Frog Jokes
Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them! Q: What happens when two frogs collide? A: They get tongue tied! Q: How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? A: Unhoppy. Q: What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit? A: A […]
Horseback Riding
A blonde who has never ridden before and has never had lessons decides that she is going to go horseback riding. She mounts the horse unassisted and immediately the horse starts to gallop at a nice steady pace. The blonde, however, is bouncing from side-to-side. She tries to grab the horses mane, but she can’t […]
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