Humor
Could You Be An Elementary School Teacher?
Could you be an elementary school teacher? Could you be a true elementary school teacher? Let’s find out: 1. Do you ask guests if they have remembered their scarves and mittens as they leave your home? 2. Do you move your dinner partner’s glass away from the edge of the table? 3. Do you ask […]
Women Drivers
I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the Freeway, I look over to my left and there’s this woman in a Laser doing 120 kms per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I look away for a […]
Training Your Human
Training your human is a thankless task. "Why bother with it?", some kittens may ask. The fate of the world is the issue at hand, As felines worldwide stake a claim for their land. Make no bones about it, we cats own the joint. We spray in the corners to drive home the point. Some […]
Religious Ideas
Religion is for those who fear hell, Spirituality is for those who have been there… "And it came to pass that in the hands of the ignorant, the words of the Bible were used to beat plowshares into swords" — Alan Wilson Watts The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.-John Vance […]
How To Bathe A Cat
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. 3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand […]
Dog Rules
1. The dog is not allowed in the house. 2. Ok. The dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms. 3. The dog is allowed in all rooms ,but has to stay off the furniture. 4. The dog can get on the old furniture only. 5. Fine, the dog is allowed on […]
Native Tribes
In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression….. In America we call it golf. ******** Five-year-old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by. She told the census taker that her daddy […]
A Windy Story – Stress Break
A woman goes to the doctor and tells him: "I got a horrible problem with gas,but luckly when I pass gas it doesn’t make any noise and it doesn’t smell. In fact I have passed gas several times since I’ve come into your office." The doctor gives her some pills and tells her to return […]
Jesus Is Watching
A burglar breaks into a house and as he is prowling around he hears a voice "Jesus is watching you" He jumps thinking hes been caught but theres noone around. Thinking it may have been nerves or his conscience he continues pilfering the jewellry, good silverwear etc. when once again he hears "Jesus is watching […]
Church Bloopers
The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning. Remember in prayer those who are sick of our church and community. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It’s a terrible […]
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