Humor
Died In The Service
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, son." "Good morning, pastor" replied the young […]
New Pastor
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back […]
Dead Rabbit
A man was driving along the highway and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side […]
Technology For Country Folk…
1. LOG ON: Makin a wood stove hotter. 2. LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood. 3. MONITOR: Keepin an eye on the wood stove. 4. DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk. 5. MEGA HERTZ: When yer not kerful gettin the farwood. 6. FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood. […]
A Fate Worse Than…
In honor of Judge Kevin Parker’s comment that the fate suffered by a 14 year old torture and murder victim "..could have been much worse", here are some thoughts about judges: – Q. Why is an Australian Judge like a dyslexic? A. Because they both stuff up their sentences. Q. Why is an Australian […]
A Glossary Of Medical Terms, And Alternate Meanings.
Benign…………….What you be after you be eight. Artery…………….The study of paintings. Bacteria…………..Back door to cafeteria. Barium…………….What doctors do when patients die. Cesarean Section……A neighborhood in Rome. Catscan……………Searching for kitty. Cauterize………….Made eye contact with her. Colic……………..A sheep dog. Coma………………A punctuation mark. D & C……………..Where Washington is. Dilate…………….To live long. Enema……………..Not a friend. Fester…………….Quicker than someone else. […]
One Sunday Morning…
One Sunday morning, the minister told the congregation that he was going to say a series of words, and he wanted them to sing the song that came to mind, when he said each word. The first word he said was "rock" They immediately started singing "Rock of Ages." The second word he said was […]
Visit To The Vet
A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettable, is dead. The […]
A Lawyer, An Old Priest And A Little Boy
A lawyer, an old priest and a little boy were flying in a small airplane when the engine dies on them, and they only had two parachutes. The lawyer then said, " I’m the smartest man in the world, I deserve to live!" He grabbed a parachute and jumped. The priest looked at the little […]
The English Language
Lets face it English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for granted But if we examine its paradoxes […]
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