Humor
Wife 1.0
Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0, and I can find no documentation on several features. For example, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initiali- zation where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as RunAnywhere 10.3 and StayOut 2.5 cause freezes, and […]
A Few Questions — 8-)
Real Men Note: All “real men” answer “C” to all of these questions. Know this, and you will have come far in understanding us and enriching your own life. 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they […]
Bible Jokes :-)
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. Q. What kind of man […]
Lord’s Prayer
A mother was teaching her three-year-old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end. “And lead us not into temptation”, she prayed, “but […]
Two Blondes
Two blondes were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching the town of Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one blonde asked the manager, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? […]
Computers: He Or She?
A retired sailor purchased a computer and began to learn all about computing. Being a sailor, he was used to addressing his ships as “She” or “Her”. But was unsure what was proper for computers. To solve his dilemma, he found two groups of computer experts: one group was male, and the other group was […]
Exam Prayers
The professor of our graduate-school class on gifted children included a huge amount of material on the midterm exam. As tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud. The following week the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced: “Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke […]
Preparation For Parenthood
Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real life experience of being a mother or father. 1) (Women) To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag chair […]
Pearly Gates & Other Stories
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabby, St. Peter invites him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven. A preacher is next in line behind the […]
The Smarter Sex?
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s […]
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