Humor
A Short History Of Medicine
2000 B.C. – Here, eat this root 1000 A.D. – That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. – That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. – That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. – That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 A.D. – […]
According To The Bible
the first person to smoke a cigarette… Rachel, she lit off her camel… the first person to play tennis…David, he served in the courts of Saul… the first reference to motorcycles…King David’s triumph was heard through out the land… the smallest person…Peter, he slept on his watch… Sunday school (and Sabbath school) pupil’s misquotes of […]
Top 15 Things To Say When You’re Caught Sleeping At Work
1. “Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot.” 2. “This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to.” 3. “I was working smarter — not harder.” 4. “Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper.” 5. “Oh, I wasn’t sleeping! I was […]
Organizational Changes At The North Pole
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole. Streamlining was necessary due to the North Pole’s loss of dominance of the season’s gift distribution business. […]
Stages Of Belief
From: (The Shadow) Newsgroups: aus.religion.christian Subject: Re: Belief in Santa Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1998 09:10:14 GMT On Fri, 18 Dec 1998 11:10:47 +1100, “Bradley” <> wrote: >Theo Bekkers wrote in message <>… >>Read on a joke list: >> >>The three ages of faith in Santa Claus. >> >>1) You believe in Santa Claus. >>2) […]
50 Things To Do In An Elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers. 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!” 4. Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small […]
Life’s Lessons
* Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-o to a tree. * There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt. * Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in […]
Little Johnny
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” she replied as she began to remove the cream with a tissue. “What’s the matter,” asked little Johnny. “Giving up?”
Christmas Story :-)!
In a small southern town I saw a wonderful “Nativity Scene,” but one feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She […]
The Pope Comes To America :-)
The Pope comes to America. Of course, he’s very busy. Masses, rallies, dinners, events, etc. For security, he has the same limo driver daily. One evening at a banquet, he sees a chance to sneak away unnoticed. He goes out back, finds his limo, knocks on the window and finds the driver lounging in the […]
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