Humor
Ingit the Eskimo
An Eskimo is fishing on the Polar ice pack at a time when there is sunshine 23hrs per day. After 18 hours his bum is numb with cold, so he packs up his catch and heads back to the igloo. He hangs up his sealskin coat, and sits down to tuck into his seal steak […]
Dogs
Ten second sketch by Dave Allen, who dressed as a postman, sees notice on front gate of house – “Beware of GOD”. Thinks out loud, “Oh, they’ve spelt DOG wrong.” Enters, and is struck by lightning. In another sketch he crosses out the letter B in ‘beware of the bog’, and falls in a big […]
Solitude
TODAYS RIDDLE : “She” is a word that contains two personal pronouns: she and he. What five-letter word beginning with “U” contains four personal pronouns? /\ x x x x x Scroll down for the answer x x x x x Here it comes x x x x x \/ usher: us, she, he, and […]
The Dabster Method
There are some humorous stories in ‘Christian circles’ (I’d thought the word ‘square’ might be more appropriate 🙂 about what John Stott called the ‘dabster method’, and before that waas commonly called ‘the promise-box method’: Like (shuts eyes and points): ‘Judas went and hanged himself’ Oops, second try: ‘Go thou and do likewise!’ Gotta do […]
Another prawn story
Here’s another prawn story, as told by David Niven to Dame Edna Everage on her TV show (as best I can remember it): Once upon a time at the bottom of the ocean, there were a young female prawn and a young male crab. Now, prawns and crabs usually don’t have much to do with […]
Bits of knowledge
THESE BITS OF KNOWLEDGE WILL JUST MAKE YOUR DAY.. “Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand …. And “lollipop” is the longest word typed with your right hand. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn’t you?) No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple. “Dreamt” is […]
Two Prawns (groan…)
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea, one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, “I’m fed up with being a prawn; I wish […]
Big People Words
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! You need to use ‘Big People’ words,’ she was always reminding them. She asked John what he had done over the weekend. ‘I went to visit […]
Pun Intended
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 4. A […]
Gotta Love Dogs
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -Anonymous Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. -Ann Landers If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. -Will Rogers There is […]
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