Humor
Brothers
Small boy, watching Big Brother eating an apple: “Can I have a bite?” “No!” “Can I have the core?” “There ain’t gonna be no core!” (From “Cole’s Funny Picture Book”)
Praying for rain has its problems!
(from my irreverent mate Alan): Praying for rain,always runs the danger of confusing God. Pray for rain in Sydney,and the wheat farmers in Morowa are praying for clear skies for harvest. God,herself, may have different ideas. Take the US Presidential campaign. James Dobson,old time warrior of the political and religious right,and whose Focus on the […]
Ode To Spell Check Her
-ODE TO SPELL CHECK HER- Eye halve a spelling check her It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. ””’ Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a […]
The Colorectal Surgeon’s Sing-a-long
(There’s a tune to this, if you search Google) ********************************** We praise the colorectal surgeon Misunderstood and much maligned Slaving away in the heart of darkness Working where the sun don’t shine ””’ Respect the colorectal surgeon It’s a calling few would crave Lift up your hands and join us Let’s all do the finger […]
Are you sitting comfortably?
Late last Saturday night, a young chap was walking home from the pub. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most Of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only Broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a Dustbin. Suddenly he […]
Famous death
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death last week of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote ‘The Hokey Pokey’ died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family […]
Groan!
King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, ‘I ‘ll give you 100,000 dinars for […]
The Final Answer Is…
A contestant on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was, “Which of the […]
Unanswered Questions
Unanswered Questions Vol. II If cocaine were legal, would they sell it in little packages like Sweet N’ Low? Would they call it Sweet N’ High? If drinking and driving is illegal, why do bars have parking lots? Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And if so, how would you treat […]
Adam and Eve
One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the forbidden fruit, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he says, “Excuse me GOD, can I ask you a few questions?” GOD replied, “Go on Adam but be quick I have a world to create.” So Adam […]
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