Humor
Why did the Anglican Cross the Road?
To get to the middle :-)!!!
Inner Peace
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Medical TV show, I have finally found inner peace. A Doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the […]
End of World Scenario
George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad, he told the three that he was destroying the Earth in three days. They were all allowed to return to their […]
That’s a lie
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked “What are you doing with that dog?” One of […]
Pope chauffeur
After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into the limo, and He doesn’t travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. ‘Excuse me, Your Holiness,’ says the driver, ‘Would you please take your seat so we can leave?’ ‘Well, to tell you the truth,’ says the Pope, ‘they […]
Spanish Computers
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’ ‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’ A student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’ Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male […]
I Am The Very Model of a Crazy Fundamentalist
I Am The Very Model of a Crazy Fundamentalist [Duet] I am the very model of a crazy fundamentalist My modus operandi ain’t one of the very gentle -est I’ll rant and shout, my venom spout in terms uncategorical ‘Cause I can’t tell the Earth from Hell or real from allegorical [Duet] I try to […]
Fancy Dress Party
How NOT to do it… A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn’t know what to wear to hide his bald head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives […]
Buying a Computer (Updated)
LOU COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM BUD ABBOTT ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to […]
Motorway
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, “What’s going on? Terrorists down the road have kidnapped Gordon Brown and some other politicans. They’re asking for a £10 million ransom, otherwise they’re going to […]
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