Humor
Kids are quick
Kids Are Quick____________________________________ TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John , why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn , […]
Retirement
From a Usenet humour group: I’ve often been asked, ‘What do you “old guys” do now that you’re retired?’ Well, I have a friend who has a Chemical Engineering background and one of the things we enjoy most is turning beer, scotch and wine into urine.
And then the fight started…
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’ ‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after […]
Miracle
If any cleric or monk speaks jocular words, such as to provoke laughter, let him be anathema. [Ordinance, Second Council of Constance [1418] +++++ One morning a man comes into the church on crutches. He stops in front of the holy water and splashes some on both of his legs, then throws away the crutches. […]
Psychology
Your brain can get a cholesterol-overload if you have too much Freud food. From one who is advancing in years – aware that psychology is still little more than pulling habits out of rats – but still Jung at heart…
Daffinitions
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. HAIRDRESSERS A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes […]
This ‘@&^%*?#’ army
A disgruntled soldier was jaded with the inefficiency of the army. He transferred to different regiments, only to be faced with constant displays of ineptitude. As a last resort he tried the paratroopers, where things looked to be improving. As he soared into the air for the first jump, his instructor gathered all the trainees […]
New order?
Note for the puritans and/or the prurient: some humor/humour about sex is funny, some is bawdy and/or tasteless, and some is clever. This one falls into the last category… ***** It is rumoured that an Apocryphal Gospel has been discovered in a cave in the Middle East: the Gospel of St. Coitus and St. Copula, […]
Interesting (etymology of a common word)
Interesting fact ? Not Checked but I’m Sure One of You Will Take the Trouble…. Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer’s invention, so large shipments of manure were common.. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a […]
Italian Mother
THE ITALIAN MOTHER A young Italian man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, ‘Just for fun Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.’ The mother agrees. The next day, he brings […]
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