Humor
Indian English
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India . The Personnel Manager said, “Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.” Mujibar said, “I am ready.” The manager said, “Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green.” Mujibar thought for a […]
Is Mummy Near the Phone Dear?
Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg ‘Hello?’ ‘Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?’ ‘No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.’ After a brief pause, Daddy says, ‘But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.’ Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mummy, right now.’ Brief pause. ‘Uh, okay […]
Bragging
A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. ‘Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,’ he said. […]
Exercise
I felt like my body had got totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the […]
Some Groucho Marx Quotes
“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.” — Groucho Marx “I’ve got the brain of a four year old. I’ll bet he was glad to be rid of it.” — Groucho Marx “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” — […]
Asking for Directions
A man approached a local in a village he was visiting. “What’s the quickest way to York?” The local scratched his head. “Are you walking or driving?” he asked the stranger. “I’m driving.” “That’s the quickest way!”
Tourist wisdom
…. Reminded me of the American tourist that had just visited Windsor Castle. When asked what he thought of the place, he replied, “Very nice but it’s a shame they built it so close to the M4”
Lone Ranger (corny)
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were hot on the trail of some desperados. After a hard days riding, the light was getting too bad for Tonto to follow the trail, so they set up camp for the night. At day break, Tonto got up and started brewing the breakfast coffee. The Lone Ranger stretched and […]
1 to 10
Even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numbers! Exclusively only to great Malaysian and Singaporean…….. Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again back to 1. This was what […]
Job Applications
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” He answered, “No.” The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was “Why?” The applicant answered it anyway: “Never got caught.” ———————————- Employer to applicant: “In this job […]
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