Humor
Airline Quotes (another one)
When Muhammad AIi was in his prime, a stewardess was having trouble trying to persuade him to clip on his seatbelt. He protested to her: “Superman don’t need no seatbelt!” She won the passengers over when she quickly replied: “But Superman don’t need no plane!”
Airline Quotes
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. “Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews. Problem: “Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.” Solution: “Almost replaced left inside main tire.” Problem: “Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.” Solution: “Autoland […]
Elderly Couple in Church
An elderly couple was attending church service. About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband, “I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?” He replies “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”
Men are happier
Men Are Just Happier People– What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can […]
Definitions
Definitions not in the Dictionary…. ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. […]
Wet Pants [2]
From a friend: The Billy Madison version. For those of you who haven’t seen it, Billy Madison (Adam Sandler) is a goofy 30 year old heir to a fortune who has to go back to complete every year of school to earn the right to run his dad’s company. At this stage he’s in 3rd […]
Only British… (but it’s not only British :-)
Only British.. Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. Oh and only in Britain can a pizza […]
Crocodile
The Crocodile The crocodile is a specially built so long because the flatter the better swimmer. At the front of the crocodile is the head. The head exists almost only of teeth. Behind the crocodile the tail grows. Between the head and the tail is the crocodile. A crocodile without a tail is called a […]
One Leg
One-legged chickens were so inept at running away they were all caught and eaten. The species is extinct. Which reminds me of a short story, by Australia’s Walter Murdoch, called “One-Leg Island”. A tourist called at an island and found that every inhabitant was missing the left leg below the knee. He asked why this […]
Three-legged race
One day a travelling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour. The chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran […]
Categories
Articles may be reproduced in any medium, without applying for permission
(provided they are unedited, and retain the original author/copyright information - and a reference to this website :-)!
26,756 articles online.
Protected by Akismet, Digital Ninjas and an Ion Cannon. Really.
Blog with WordPress