Humor
Daffyinitions
Shell Shock: What Humpty Dumpty died of. Illegal: A sick bird. Hippies: They hold your leggies on. Minimum: A very small mother. Bacteria: A rear entrance to a cafeteria. IG: An Eskimo house without a loo. Meatball: A dance at the meatworks. Copper Nitrate: Overtime for policemen. Coincide: What people do when it rains. Buttress: […]
Creation explained
On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten […]
Football
#1 >> Good morning. How many of you have lost some sleep watching the World Cup Soccer? I had a novel idea about all that this week. It’s a shame 22 grown men have to chase just one ball: why don’t we provide each team with their own ball? Both can be kicked around between […]
One-liners
Morris was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife Sherry, with a […]
Punctuation
I would like the pedants to have one go only… http://eatsshootsandleaves.com/ESLquiz.html
Pay me when I die
An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery. Pausing before one gravestone, he said, “There lies a very honest man. He died owing me 50 dollars, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts and if anyone has gone to Heaven, he has.” They walked on […]
How your mouse functions
*The mystery is finally solved.** How does the small arrow on your computer monitor work When we move the mouse? Have you ever wondered how it works? With the aid of a screen magnifying lens, the mechanism becomes apparent. Click on the link below and you will find out. * *When it appears, slowly move […]
Church graveyard
Two blokes came out of the pub in Wales and were walking home past a church. First bloke says “hey, there is somebody buried here that lived to 152!” Second bloke says, “I must have heard of him as I have lived around here all my life, whats his name?” First bloke says “Miles from […]
One-liner
I have to go anyway for, as Kermit the Frog would say: “Time’s fun when you’re having flies!”
Getting physical
Just came across this exercise to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I’d pass it on to some of my friends. The article suggested doing it three days a week. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. […]
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