Humor
English Language Confused?
Can you read these right the first time? 1) The bandage was *wound* around the *wound. ** *2) The farm was used to *produce produce**. *3) The dump was so full that it had to *refuse* more *refuse**. * 4) We must *polish* the *Polish* furniture. 5) He could *lead* if he would get the […]
The English Language (again)
The English Language If you’ve learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! Pursue at your leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 2. The farm was used to produce produce. 3. The dump was so full that it […]
More Brain Stuff
. More Brain Stuff . . . From Cambridge University. Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the […]
How It Feels To Be Small
How It Feels To Be Small . Oliver Wendell Holmes once attended a meeting in which he was the shortest man present. “Dr. Holmes,” quipped a friend, “I should think you’d feel rather small among us big fellows.” . “I do,” retorted Holmes. “I feel like a dime among a lot of pennies.” . ========================== […]
Some of the Laws that Murphy missed
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law […]
Buying Shoes
A lawyer’s wife dies. At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads, “Here lies Phyllis, wife of Murray, L.L.D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice.” . Suddenly, Murray bursts into tears. His brother says, “You should cry, pulling a stunt like this!” . Through his tears, Murray croaks, “You don’t understand! They left out […]
Friendly pig
A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, “Are they relatives of yours?” “Yes,” his wife replied. “I married into the […]
And God sayeth unto man: I’ve had it!
(•) And God sayeth unto man: I’ve had it! By Rev. John F. Hudson | August 23, 2006 MAKING HIS first public remarks in more than 1,000 years, God appeared in the heavens yesterday and ordered all world religions founded in His/Her name to “immediately take a well-deserved and long overdue time-out.” At the crowded […]
Betty Bowers is a Better Christian than You!
(Switch your irony filter on… this beats Landover Baptist – and that’s saying something!) http://www.bettybowers.com/
Speed limits
Sitting on the side of the highway to catch speeding drivers, a police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph He thinks to himself ”this driver is just as dangerous as speedster” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over, approaching the car, he notices that there are five old […]
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