Humor
Doctors
Three surgeons were having a conversation: One of them said, “I’m the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and eight months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.” The second surgeon said, “That’s nothing. A young man lost both arms and […]
Freedom
And then there was the man whose wife found him sobbing. “What’s up?” she asked. “You know your father threatened to take me to court for under-age sex when we were teenagers?” he said. “Yes, after I got pregnant” she replied. “And he said that the only way to avoid spending twenty years in jail […]
Monastery Life
Monastery Life A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot […]
Individuals
Crowd: “Yes, we are all individuals!” Lone voice: “I’m not!” – Monty Python Life of Brian
Surely I Can’t Look That Old
(~) SURELY I CAN’T LOOK THAT OLD Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old”? An elderly woman was sitting in the waiting room for her first appointment with a new dentist. She noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, […]
Methodism in their madness
Herald Sun 4.8.06 James Tozer, London WITH fewer than one-in-10 burglaries solved, the power of the law seems to be fading fast. So police are turning to the power of prayer instead. Churches are to be given details of break-ins and other unsolved crimes in the hope that parishioners’ pleas to God will produce a […]
Take no chances
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150.” The man thought about it and told him he would just […]
Why did he die?
A man was on his knees at a grave, crying “Oh, why did you die! Why did you die? If only you had lived a long life!” A woman went up to the deeply distressed man and said sympathetically “How awful for you to be in such pain. Is it your wife?” “No, it’s my […]
Ubiquitous Perpetuity God
This was in the newspaper. Therefore it must be true. When Enrique Silbert first tried to change his name to “God,” the Judge said it would create “too much confusion.” But Superior Court Judge David Menary on Wednesday approved Silbert’s new moniker once he added a first and middle name. Now his name is: Ubiquitous […]
Mental Hospital
Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have … (keep reading) Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank […]
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