Humor
Test for Smart People
Hi Guys & (smart) Dolls !!! Enjoy! Test for Smart People…..( I have determined that you qualify.) The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don’t scroll down UNTIL you have […]
Monkeys and typewriters
Thoughts for today Solomon For in much wisdom is much grief: And he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow. Murphy’s Law: “If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.” Random: 14 billion monkeys typing random letters […]
Broom Wedding
Groaner Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave […]
Grand kids
GRANDMA’S AGE: LITTLE JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA! HOW OLD SHE WAS. GRANDMA ANSWERED, “39 AND HOLDING.” JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID, “AND HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU LET GO?” **************************************** LIFE AFTER DEATH: “DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?” THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS EMPLOYEES. “YES, SIR,” THE […]
Gender issues
You may not know that many non-living things have a gender. For Example . 1) Freezer Bags Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. 2) Photocopiers Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right […]
Winners of … 15th Annual Christian Science Fair
First Prize: Melissa Patterson, 11th Grade – Are Pimples the Wrath of God? Melissa Patterson’s magnificent project demonstrates that pimples are God’s punishment against young people for impious, aberrant behavior. Ms. Patterson tested her hypothesis empirically with a questionnaire designed to test whether a correlation exists between the severity of teenage acne and ungodliness in […]
Classic quotes
A collection of classics… [1] Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, “Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.” – Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter). [2] I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: […]
Top Ten Rejected Easter Dramas This Year :)
By Dave Tippett 10. Gigantic, super-loud fireworks explosions signal resurrection of Prince of Peace 9. The guy who lost his ear to Peter sells it on eBay 8. Angels swing from piano wire and, for the most part, make it down to the Tomb 7. Guys in metal skirts hurt, too: The Roman’s Story 6. […]
Two Elderly People
This is a story of two elderly people living in a mobile home park in Florida. He was a widower and she was a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. . One evening there was a community supper in the Club House, and the widower and widow made a foursome […]
Geraniums
Clerk in flower shop: “Sorry, we don’t have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets?” . Customer (sadly): “No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone.” . ========================== . A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens […]
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