Humor
Everything Is Big In Texas
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow, these seats are big!” The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.” When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the […]
More One Liners
Why did the Cookie go to the hospital? It felt crummy. What kind of coffee did they serve on the Titanic? Sanka What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line.
Cat dies and…
One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, “You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know.” The cat thinks for a moment and […]
Painting job
A minister hired two men to paint his church. As it happened, they were two no-goods who thinned the paint to save money. When the minister found out about this, he shouted: “Repaint and thin no more!”
Riddles and Humour
TODAYS RIDDLE A man wanted to enter an exclusive club but did not know the password that was required. He waited by the door and listened. A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, “twelve.” The member replied, “six ” and was let in. A second member came to the door and […]
British Puns
Accusatory: A charge against a British Conservative. Auditory: A loud British Conservative. Celebratory: Cheering British Conservatives. Congratulatory: Acknowloging the achievement of a British Conservative. Copulatory: British Conservative sex. Directory: British Conservative phone book. Ejaculatory: The cuming of a British Conservative. Factory: Hard data on a British Conservative. Investigatory: To probe a British Conservative. Rectory: What […]
What I Want in a Man
What I Want in a Man, Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice […]
Satan’s Lawyer
A Chicago lawyer named George successfully defends a major crime lord from charges of dealing drugs, racketeering, murder, kidnapping, and selling arms. As he is leaving the courtroom, an indignant old woman grabs him by the arm. “Young man, where are your Christian scruples? I believe you would defend Satan himself!” “I don’t know,” George […]
An Act of Kindness
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He […]
Christian One-Liners
“Don’t let your worries get the best of you. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case” Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited – until you try to sit in their pews. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live […]
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