Humor
Profundities by Australian Football League players/coaches etc.
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.’ (Shane Wakelin). ‘Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.’ (Mick Malthouse – Collingwood). ‘I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.’ (Peter Bell – Fremantle – on his University Law studies). […]
Humo[u]r
Perfection The preacher said, “There’s no such thing as a perfect woman. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect woman, stand up.” Nobody stood up. “Those who have ever known a perfect man, stand up.” One elderly gentleman stood up. “Are you honestly saying you knew an absolutely perfect man?” he asked, somewhat amazed. […]
Hospital Humour
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?” The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay, […]
AIRLINE HUMOUR
WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN’T FLY INTERNATIONALLY – WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR – SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN. Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg .. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real […]
English lesson
No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED, in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, there is a difference. When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. And when you […]
British Humour (this won’t appeal to everyone :-)!
The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman’s poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, ‘Ma’am, may I have that seat?’ The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular […]
Helpful tips for you :-)
THESE REALLY WORK!! I checked this out on Snopes and it’s for real! AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES: 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK. 3. [omitted – not helpful for […]
For dog-lovers :-)
For anyone who loves animals this one is priceless The dog lays a stick by the “man’s” feet and is trying so hard to get him to throw the stick…. funny… http://www.wimp.com/throwstick/
Clean Humo[u]r
Fined Joe was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defense. “They should not put up such misleading notices,” said Joe. “It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE.” =========================== Romantic An older couple was lying in bed one night… The […]
In Western/Northern Australia don’t crawl into drains during cyclones…
The water corp. crew, who were putting in lines for an addition to the Millstream Pipeline, found the following in a culvert they were using… See the two pictures below: The crocodile is/was 18′ 2″ long. The snake roundup totaled 87. We thank Water Corporation for sharing these pictures.
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