Humor
Wisdom
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he “lacked intellectual leadership.” He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence. ~~~ The hardest decision in life is when to start middle age. -~~~ One evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. […]
Senior fitness
FW: Senior fitness (A must read) Senior Fitness! An exercise for senior citizens to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It is very easy and you only need to do it 3 days a week. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface where you have plenty of room at each side. With a […]
How do you dress for church?
One Sunday morning the congregation of a ritzy church (with vaulted ceilings, handcraved oak pews, stained glass windows and deep plush carpet) had a stir. A man came in just minutes before the service was to begin and he was dressed horribly, was stinking, had on old boots, torn overalls, a dirty flannel shirt, and […]
Railroad Gauge
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Try and follow along…. Because that’s the way they were built in England, and English expatriates built the U.S. Railroads. Why? The first rail lines were built by the same people […]
Alzheimer’s Test
Alzheimer’s Test- Count the “F’s” in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE- SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF- IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS…(see below) Managed it? Scroll down only after you have counted them, okay? How many did you get? How many? 3? Wrong, there are 6!! –No joke. Read it […]
Hymns for Her
One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and […]
Burglar
A dear old lady arrived home from church one Sunday morning all fired up from the sermon she had heard from the minister based on Acts chapter 2 which tells of the events of Pentecost and Peter’s following sermon to the assembled crowd. She walked in the front door to find that she was in […]
Light bulbs (not again!)
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? Charismatic: Only 1 Hands are already in the air. Pentecostal : 10 One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. Presbyterians: None Lights will go on and off at predestined times. Roman Catholic: None Candles only. Baptists: At […]
The Lord’s Leading
After starting a new diet I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, “Lord, it’s up to you. If you want me to have […]
What to say when a bishop sneezes
from http://www.theoniondome.com/2004/05/14/vv/ Dear Father Vasiliy, What do you say to a bishop when he sneezes? Laymen, or even priests, of course should not presume to bless a bishop, so “God bless you” is clearly out of the question. But it seems rude to just ignore it. – Out of Kleenex . Dear Kliyneks, What do […]
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