Humor
Prayer for Leroy’s Hearing…
A Special Need Prayer Request In a Detroit church one Sunday morning, a preacher said, “Does anyone have a ‘Special Need’ who wants to be prayed over? If so please come forward to the front by the altar.” With that, Leroy got in line and waited until it was his turn. The Preacher asked, “Leroy, what do […]
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of (occasionally irresponsible) Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage […]
Quotes that bite…
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a government.  John Adams If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.   Mark Twain Suppose you […]
Jokes: mostly corny, but you’re allowed to smile!
NO ONE BELIEVES SENIORS ANYMORE! No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they are senile. An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not […]
Smile!
Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. “Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce,” the man says. The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the […]
Half a Dozen Weak Jokes :-)
I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “So […]
Humor (somewhat pathetic :-)
One day a man found an odd-looking lamp and rubbed it. From inside came a genie that told him he would get three wishes, but whatever he wishes for, his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. “What would you like for your first wish?” asked the genie. “I want one billion dollars,” replies the […]
Looking for Positives
During my mid-twenties I caught up with a long-lost high school friend. He’d always carried a few extra kilos, but now he was carrying several more. My hair had already begun showing its pathological fear of heights—which has some positives: like being a load off my mind; or saving on hair shampoo—but I decided to […]
Punography
· I tried to catch some fog. I mist. · When chemists die, they barium. · Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. · A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. · I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. […]
Imponderables :-) (Can you add any others?)
Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:- 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes? 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 4. If a pig loses […]
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