Humor
TRUE QUOTES ABOUT SCIENCE FROM KIDS
~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water. ~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. ~ Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and […]
Counseling – Introductions…
Two of the best-known send-ups of counseling/listening techniques – ~~ Stop it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhQGzeiYS_Q [ Homer: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem.Marge: You know, you’re right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help.Homer: No, no, that’s too expensive. Just don’t do it anymore.Simpsons, Season 5, Episode 10 ] ~~ It’s […]
Smile!
An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the […]
Smile (even if it’s corny :-)
From a crazy clergy-friend:There are three unchangeable religious facts: The Jews do not recognise Jesus as the Messiah Protestants do not recognise the Pope as the head of the church Baptist pastors do not recognise each other in a hotel bar Last Christmas I broke one of those rules, when I was […]
Cricket after an Ashes 5-nil whitewash :-)
Q. What do you get if you cross the English cricket team with an OXO cube? A. A laughing stock. Q What ¢â‚¬â„¢s the height of optimism? A: English batsman putting on sunscreen. Q. What ¢â‚¬â„¢s the difference between an English batsman and a Formula 1 car? A. Nothing! If you blink you ¢â‚¬â„¢ll miss […]
The worst troll of 2013?
Who was the worst troll of 2013? Heard something inflammatory and outrageous this year? Odds are one of this lot said it. So in a head head-to-head contest, who’s the most horrible troll of them all? Monday 30 December 2013 18.00 EST Game of trolls … the contestants. Illustrations: Toby Triumph Stuart Heritage Don’t feed the trolls. […]
Fun with New Words
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1.. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. […]
A few more corny jokes :-)
For Lexophiles: A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired. A will is a dead giveaway. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. A backward poet writes inverse. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. The guy who fell […]
Smile! (The first one’s clever but a bit naughty :-)
Trevor the farmer was in the fertilised egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets’ and eight or ten roosters, to fertilise the pullets’ eggs. Trevor kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he […]
Smile (even if they’re corny)
Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side? He’s alright now! ======= A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said “I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double.” […]
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