Humor
Baptism
The young son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first time baptism by immersion. He was greatly interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptize… you guessed it… his three cats in the bathtub. The youngest kitten bore it very well, and so did the […]
Eye Laugh
Cassie was taking two of her grandsons on their very first train ride, from Dayton, Ohio, to Washington, DC. A vendor came down the corridor selling Pop Rocks, something neither had ever seen before. Cassie bought each grandson a bag. The first one eagerly tore open the bag and popped one into his mouth just […]
Top Ten Ways To Make Evangelicals Nervous
TOP TEN WAYS TO MAKE EVANGELICALS NERVOUS WITHOUT ACTUALLY SINNING (from The Potluck Hall of Fame – David Dickerson. InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, Illinois,1992 ) 10. Smoke a pipe (just like C S Lewis) 9. Get a tatoo 8. Burn incense 7. Have an extensive rock music collection 6. Wear a cross with Jesus still […]
101 Things To Do In Church
101 Things To Do In Church ************** (from 101 Things To Do During a Dull Sermon – Tim Sims & Dan Pegoda, published by Minstrel, Eastbourne, E. Sussex) ANANIAS and SAPHIRA LIST List the names of the ‘Ten Most Likely To Be Struck Dead During The Offering’ FLASH CARDS Make a set of score flash […]
50 Fun Things For Non-Christians To Do In Church
50 Fun Things For Non-Christians To Do In Church by David Henley Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: “If you’re bad in here, you’ll go to Hell.” A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the scheduled sermon is entitled “Why God Sent AIDS to Punish […]
Bears
This is called a groaner! “A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country. Each summer the lawyer would invite a different friend to spend a week or two. On one occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend, eager to get a freebie off a […]
Do You Have A.A.A.D.D?
They have finally found a diagnosis for my condition. Hooray!! I have recently been diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.! Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it goes: I decide to wash the car. I start toward the garage and I notice the mail on the table. Ok, I’m going to wash the car, but first […]
Airline Rage
*Airline Rage* As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next to him. After taking off, the flight attendant comes around to serve the passengers on the plane. The guy asks the flight attendant for a coffee and the parrot squawks: “And get ME a […]
Dilbert Quotes
A magazine ran a “Dilbert Quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the Top Ten finalists: 1. “As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their […]
Yes. I Will
There were two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As […]
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