Humor
Women Drivers
Driving to town this morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back […]
School Jokes
Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth! Pupil: What ?, and get bitten! Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing? Pupil: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening! Why were you late? Sorry, teacher, I overslept. You mean you need to sleep at home too! […]
Short Teacher Jokes
I failed every subject except for algebra. How did you keep from failing that? I didn’t take algebra! Teacher: Are you good at math? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Yes, I’m no good at math! Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please? Don’t […]
P R Man
Moses: Well, how are we going to get across the sea? We need a fast solution. The Egyptians are close behind us. The General of the Armies: Normally, I’d recommend that we build a pontoon bridge to carry us across. But there’s not enough time — the Egyptians are too close. The Admiral of the […]
Lady In Hospital
A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. “Boy, would I hate to be hooked […]
Power Of A Woman
There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men and one was a woman. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go. So finally, the woman gave […]
Dr. Seuss Explains Computers
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, And […]
A Resolution?
The following appeared on the ELCA-L list. It was attributed to “a friend who got it from. . .” and is allegedly serious. I attest to nothing except that it appeared on the ELCA-L list and I am porting it here: To Include Company of Heaven in Communion Fellowship Resolution 3-45 WHEREAS, The Lutheran Church […]
How Men And Women Think…
Roger is attracted to Elaine, he asks her out to a movie, she accepts and they have an enjoyable time. A few nights later they enjoy dinner together, and soon begin seeing each other regularly. After a while neither one is seeing anyone else. Then one evening as they’re driving home, Elaine suddenly voices a […]
Women Are Clever
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man – That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! […]
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