Humor
Charlie At The Race Track
Charlie at the race track Charlie was a regular visitor at the race track. One afternoon he noticed an unusual sight. Right before the first race, a Priest visited one of the horses in the stable area and gave it a blessing. Charlie watched the horse race very carefully, and sure enough the blessed horse […]
Reality
Reality To realize the value of one year: Ask a student who has failed a final exam. To realize the value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby. To realize the value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of one […]
Etiquette
Etiquette General Never take a beer to a job interview. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. It’s considered tacky to take a cooler to church. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it […]
Job Interviews
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked the hot-shot young engineer, fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The engineer coolly said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package […]
Valentine’s Day Quotes
Quotes From The Perfect Man There ought to be a law against those porno movies.,Can you believe that there are guys that would actually, want their wives to do those things they show? My golf clubs are only 30 years old. Why don’t you use the money my parents gave us to get something nice […]
Quotes
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit. I either want […]
Email Junkies
TOP 10 SIGNS YOU KNOW IT’S TIME TO JOIN E-MAILERS ANONYMOUS 10. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom, and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 9. Your firstborn is named dotcom 8. You turn off your modem and are suddenly filled with a feeling of emptiness, as […]
Frazzled
——– A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco’s Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail. Finally, they reached the ticket […]
Why?
“To know and not to do is not yet to know” – Buddhist monk * How come wrong telephone numbers are never busy? * Do people in Australia call the rest of the world ‘up over’? * Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip? * Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your […]
Final Exam
———- It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student […]
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