Humor
Efficiency Expert
A smile to help you start your day …… An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don’t want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the […]
The Dying Man
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death’s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort […]
Frog Story
http://www.globalserve.net/~adata/Htmls/thefrog/frog.html Ordinarily, I don’t promote websites, but this little animated frog is sooooooo funny! He does so many things, it might take you a while to see them all! Happy Viewing!!! For all of you that don’t have web page access, here’s your joke for the day: ———————————————————– A man takes the day off work […]
The Christian Thing To Do
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in the morning. "I’m not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren’t you going to […]
Need A Good Lawyer?
Q: What’s the difference between a dead lawyer lying in the road and a dead skunk lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in the road in front of the skunk. – Sent by PennyR (a lawyer!) Do unto others… A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to […]
Quality Of Life
An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American banker complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. […]
Words Not Yet In The Dictionary
CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the […]
Wise Women
Do you know what would have happened if there had been three wise women instead of three wise men? They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and, brought practical gifts.
Stranger Than Fiction
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS, President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story: On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the […]
The Painter!
A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants. She says, "Now, in the living room, I’d like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm." The contractor nods, pulls out his […]
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