Humor
The Truth About Y2k? 8-)
You’ve got to go to this site!!! Unbelievable <G>!!! http://www.thesitefights.com/wepatrol/mil_bug.gif
Classifieds
2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. Lost: Small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special — Turkey $235; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. For sale: An antique desk suitable […]
Vive La Difference`!
Haircuts – The difference between men and women: * Women’s Version: * Woman 2: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cuuuuute! Woman 1: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking? Woman 2: Oh no, it’s perfect! I’d love to […]
Heroic Behavior
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him into his office. "Mr. James, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you’re ready to go home. I’m only sorry […]
Washing Your Cat
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach). Cats, like their nemesis, the dog …. do get dirty and have a variety of […]
Q & A
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be […]
How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnE: At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your […]
Nuspeak
It would seem that nu-speak is alive and well. If one doesn’t like something all one has to do is rename it to something else. The same method can make all sorts of things sound evil. Arrest and imprisonment = state-sanctioned kidnap. Fines = state sanctioned demanding money with menaces. School (making children work without […]
Obi Wan Kanobi And Every Body Else
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightening. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I’m too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, […]
Fabulous-40-S… We’re Still Too Young
Well, most of us anyway <G> 10.Plastic rain scarf 9. Tissue box cover made of yarn 8. Adhesive shower floor daisies 7. The once -a-week hairdo 6. Drawer of newspaper clippings 5. Huge vinyl purse with a padded strap 4. The seven-day pill organizer 3. Tissue in every pocket and/ or sleeve 2. Shaky lip […]
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